I Chopped It OFF!!

My Finger! Seriously, there’s blood everywhere.

No, but really, let’s talk about hair, my hair to be exact. I’ve had the same style for about I dunno, 3-4 years now? Yeah, boring.

Two years ago I drew this little comic/sketch thingie for Username: Pirateferret – We used to talk on IMVU bundles of times..She’s into Ferrets and Pirates. Finally I saw her on deviantART and was like, “ZUMG, that chick you drew has my hair!” “Zumg, really? I’ve wanted that style for awhile but I shaved my head so that fixed that”.

I drew this under 30 minutes, please make note I can draw better!

Anyway, without putting up pictures, that’s how my hair looked like, normal bob cut up to my shoulders/neck with a long streak of hair on my left side. I know in the picture it’s on the right side, but ignore that, I didn’t know what left or right was back then.  Oh and part of my fringe was up to my eyes and the middle part (I guess) was beyond my chin. I had dyed that long fringe part blue and the longest part of my hair was dyed the brightest red you can think of…It was UV reactive too. It was amazing. That was the ‘recent’ year thing I did with the colors. I love colors :].

It was all groovy until I picked up the scissors and killed the already overly processed peroxide hair. It was an orange tinge cause I haven’t dyed it in 5-6 months and my fringe had a greenish tint to it. I deiced to cut it myself after a professional completely ‘ruined’ my hair, from that point on I said to myself, “No! No one is going to put sharp objects in my face expect for me. So if I loose an eye it’ll be my fault and I wouldn’t have to pay anybody for their very unpro..ness.”

My sister and mother were eating at the table and I was practically talking to myself in the bathroom going, “I’ve RUINED it! I look so weird!”

Sister: “Relax, you look normal.”

“That’s the PROBLEM!” *Walks over to them* “A part of me is in the TRASH, don’t you understand? I’m GARBAGE!”

Sister: >.>…*Keeps on eating*

Mother: Take your hair and sprinkle it across the lawn.

“….*blinks* What? Why?”

Mother: The birds love hair. It’s good. You recycle.

“My hair has been bleached, it’s a suspected source for breast cancer/taking years off of your life…You really think it’ll be good for Them?”

Mother: So? Just do it. It’ll be good for them.

“Why on earth would I want to do that? I mean, the birds, they could like, fly and I dunno, carry it with them and give it to some voodoo guy who has trained birds to go collect hair and he could put it in some upside down pentagram and do some weird ritual and sacrifice chickens and I could be suffering and and..and the stomach ulcers!”

Sister: Are you serious?…Dude, they’re just birds.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT! Are you the voodoo guy who trains birds to steal hair?”

Sister: *Shakes her head with those rollie eyes and keeps on eating*

Mother: When the garbage guys collect it, they are more likely to do voodoo on your hair..

“…Uh!….*Silence*…I hate you -.-’….Like they’d look through the trash..*is in denial*”

Mother: Sure why not? Never know what’s valuable.

“Why would I want to give my hair to birds anyway??”

Mother:  So they can make a nest.

“….”

Sister: Did you know the male birds are the ones who make the nests for the females and are more colorful.

“That will be one colorful nest. You ever pity the male birds? They’re all like, we’ll do anything to get laid even if you’re ugly and have one eye working. Whatever you want!”

Sister: Which ever is the better looking one (nest) the females will pick it.

“Yea, I know, totally sucks for the male cause they will still be with ugly chicks.”

So, tomorrow morning I’m going to prance around the yard throwing my once proud hair around the lawn for male birds to make nests….And I’m the one who uses the chemicals…

Anyyywhoo, I chopped it all off and made it level except for my fringe, they’re an inch longer than the rest of the hair, I plan on dying this part white. Tomorrow aka Friday, I’m going to go to a pro to get it bleached because they’re doing discounts and well, honestly, bleaching my whole head by myself could really make me go bald which is not the desired look I’m going for. Then on Monday I’ll dye it like three different shades of blue. Should be rad.

Though! I was thinking about going with a mohawk, but if I want a mohawk I want one that’s so freaking huge it makes me look like a midget (not practical when using public transport) or have half of my head shaved and the other half green, but for now I’m still enjoying the whole having hair thing so maybe next time I change styles I’ll do the 2nd option.