Ripping it up Old School amoung other things.

Someone at work lent me his cassette player and a tape. Casseettte player who had dying batteries in which involved me to personally rewind the tape like a fool. I was ranting to a friend at how cool it was to actually be able to remember my childhood and then about 15 minutes later cursing the bloody thing for making me remember my childhood.

Right now I’m listening to Epidemic on cassette, I have two other tapes he lent me which still are in my bag. I even have his headphones for some reason. Only the right side is working but they’re Soooo comfortable to wear. Also, the inside of the cassette player smells like cigarettes. Mmmm Ashy goodness.

On Thursday..Or Friday, this man and his wife came walking up to wait for the bus and I so happened to be doing the same,

“Que calor” (It’s hot!!) he said to me.

I smiled back and said “Si.” (Yes) trying to untangle my small black earphones in order to listen to some good techno music.

This man had his right side of teeth missing and the other side of teeth were so over grown and big and crooked that I didn’t think he used them to chew anymore. I was trying to work out how he even was able to close his mouth from the length those teeth were. For some reason or another he started talking to me about how women are defenceless. I have no idea why he was talking to me on this subject, I don’t provoke random people into having conversations with me. I pretended to agree with him even though I think many women wouldn’t be defenceless and helpless if they actually tried to make an effort in learning how not to be defenceless and useless. I put away my earphones to listen to him even though I didn’t even get through the first song. He was telling me about the various women who he knows that have never been hurt or robbed, like this one girl who has a mutated hand that’s in a form of a V (Guest appearance at Sesame street perhaps?) and how when anyone looks at her they just turn the other direction and don’t even think about robbing her. Then he spoke of another woman who knows like 8 types of martial arts as she’s been doing it since she was 4 and he was showing me how one can defend ones self just by the offender holding your bag. This is when his mouth got a little trigger happy and started going on a spitting spree from his open right-sided mouth. He started talking about something else and my attention span became directed to the some random, never before seen, old man and his spit coming very faithfully at my lips and cheek. I stepped a bit sideways to try and avoid the general massacre of unknown germs on my clean, precious, face. Oh, oh, my genius planned failed the moment he thought about stepping closer to me. I repeated my steps again, after a minute or so he caught on and stepped closer.

Stupid old man you’re missing the point! Grah.

The bus thankfully came up and I was on my way to work, hopeful I wouldn’t be sitting anywhere near this man for future reference.

When I was coming home from work I got off the bus at around 11pm and walked home. I notice a car pull up on the side of the road close to my neighbor’s house with the emergency lights on, I got a bit paranoid and started thinking of ways to fight him off if he were to kidnap me but then stopped this silliness as I thought I was just being, well, paranoid. I started to think he was just lost and looking at a map as his inner car light was on, but when I walked past I noticed that he wasn’t looking at anything expect me through his passenger window. It was sort of odd that he didn’t ask me for directions and sort of just watched me walk to my door. I quickly went in and closed the black non-transparent metal-door and walked a few steps so it wasn’t apparent by my shadow that I was behind the door and I quietly stood, waiting, in darkness. About 4 to 9 seconds later I hear and see the shadow drive off in the same direction he was initially going.

Coincidence? Haha. No. Paranoia? Probably.

He knows where I live, he knows what time I roughly come home. He knows these things. I have every reason to be paranoid.

NEVER. EVER. try and rationalize your instincts. There was a study done that women who were raped by strangers knew it was going to happen 10 minutes ahead of time but they didn’t take any action because they rationalized the problem away. DO NOT RATIONALIZE INSTINCTS AWAY.

I entered through the front door to the house and I was immediately greeted by my mother who spoke the words of, “Your father tasered himself today!”

I laughed as it was probably the most funniest thing I heard all day. My mother was so determined to show me the new Stun Gun that they got for me. She walked over to where it was charging. The lights to the dinning room were off and when she pressed the button to this new toy for the zapping bug-light effect to go off, a small blue glow grew around her asian face.

I couldn’t wait to get my filthy hands on that thing.

I figured out how to use it which was not a very challenging mental experience and laughed manically. The power overdose in my hands made me excited and ready to test it on a dead or alive cat if I had to.

This thought made laugh even more so.

My mother said ‘Stop it’ and that’s when I blocked out the outside world for a moment and just simply said, “Oh god, I am so the wrong person to be having this….Mom, can I try this on you?”

“No.” She said it like she’s always said it. Whenever I wanted a piece of candy and pleaded with her seamlessly forever at the age of four the answer would always be a firm, ‘No’ and there was no way to change her mind.

Parents are no fun. Oh well, there’s always time for when they’re in the shower.