SLEEP. SLEEEEP… WHY WON’T YOU SLEEP.

I’m tired and I haven’t written anything in a while so my grammar placements will not be healthy babies. I woke up at 8:30am, normally I wake up at 1pm, I worked from 9am to 11pm, I took breaks of course, but still, I did at least 12 hours and I forgot to eat lunch. My brain is tired beyond functioning properly and I’ve been restlessly rolling around in bed for two hours. I caught myself talking out loud, the cat was in the room so it probably thinks I’m weird, I’m pretty sure I’ve been talking to/by myself for the past two hours I was trying to sleep.

I now think Peacocks have love handles.

Okay okay, think of a Black Line. Kind of like this ——— without the space in between and more bold. Okay. So this line represents sturdiness and thickness and heaviness. This line is stereotypical. It wants to finish high-school and hopefully not drop out, go to a good college and hopefully not drop out of that either, it wants to get married, have kids, hate the kids, retire, and then experience divorce/lover’s death or its own death; probably by heart attack – the lard cakes were worth it though.

Okay now, now the squiggle’s turn. Picture the straight line turning into a wavy line like this ~~~~~ without the spaces again. Okay. THIS Squiggle bends, it bends, and it’s bendy, it wants to retire and then get married, it wants kids and then college….It..I dunno, It eats the steak first and then the salad last kinda deal. Okay, so I hope you get the picture and what my point basically boils down to is – I AM THE SQUIGGLY LINE.

Next subject.

I hate kids. Seriously, I hate kids (I’m thinking of little kids). They scream, they don’t speak coherently, they want sharp objects that’ll kill them and for some reason that’s a bad thing. They are little versions of you and if you don’t like you then opps. They are Spawns of feces and have life-draining abilities. I think if I were to have kids, maybe I would want to have one one day when I’m stupid and feel like I should ruin someone’s life love a mini-me, I’d probably give birth to like 8 children in countries that would give you residency/citizenship for having your spawn there. So that for one, I get extra passports but their siblings can go to their brother’s/sister’s country and apply for residency there which would be most useful if they killed someone in their country and need to run away from the government.

OR. I would have 8 kids in countries where I’d get the citizenship and then I’ll give it up for adoption so that it doesn’t drain my life away. Apparently having children makes you live longer cause you get the new cells of the baby or something along those lines. I’ll be giving my brat away to some needy family, maybe make a buck or two off of them, I get extra life points, get the citizenships, it would work out well for me. They might grow up to hate me and hunt me down and kill me though.

Next Subject.

Anarchy is cool and all, but, it’s rare to find true anarchists and I dislike people who wear the symbol without even understanding what it means or represents. I’m referring to the whatever genre kid who wears it because they think they’re cutting edge and unique, but if you look at it, no one is really unique anymore. People who claim to be individuals are still sheep and followers – they’re still useless. Besides, being unique is too hard, you’re always trying to top/be more outrageous than the next guy that you start looking more stupid than interesting. I’ve given up on the whole ideal of being ‘unique/amazing/whatever’ ordeal and being more, you know, myself.

But, back to Anarchists. I’m not an anarchist, but I like the idea of it. I would think, if people who really are anarchists they would give up all government objects/identity. So they’d give up their passport, for example. They wouldn’t believe in the 911 system and therefor never use it. I mean, if you don’t want government and rules, then you have to give up the ‘good’ things too, eh? Which is why Anarchy doesn’t really work unless you’re in the hills somewhere. For example, you live in the city, someone robs you, you shoot them, the police come (or the police find out you killed them) they take you to trial and bam, you’re in the government system again. So to avoid government is to avoid society – for now at least. There isn’t really a society that’s government free yet or ever.

Next subject.

I’m leaving my job in two weeks, I’ve been there a little less than two years and it’s been too long to be doing shit like that. I seriously loathe people and their arrogance. I seriously loathe this job. So, I’m starting my company. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I have no idea what I’m doing. If my brain was capable of functioning I would go look up some useful information about something related to it and actually take advantage of my sleep deprivation, but NO, it’s probably punishing me for something I don’t remember doing.

People have been asking at my work ‘Where’ I’ll be going, I like how they sort of assume I’ll be at another company – another employee. Though, I don’t like telling them I’ll be opening up my own company soon, they look at me weird and probably assume that I think I’m better than them (I don’t) (or maybe they don’t and I’m imagining their mixture of shock/envy expression), but I don’t like lying to them over nothing, so I just want to tell no body I’m leaving so we will avoid the question/answer session.

It’s one of those things where you’re sooo glad you’re leaving that you almost don’t believe you’re actually leaving and I’m starting to fear the unknown but it’s okay cause I rather dive into the unknown than work at a place that doesn’t get the brain guts moving. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m gonna pretend I do know and maybe it’ll stick – as long as the client doesn’t know, then we’re good.

Next subject.

The dude and I will be making animations..eventually. We’re still kinda nooby at it so it’s taking longer than wanted, but we both want to do this, and god damn if he doesn’t do anything/doesn’t help/finds out he doesn’t want to do it, then I’ll be dragging one iced leg with me and I’ll do it my bloody self. I know I WANT THIS, I just need to find time, I need to organize my time better so that I can get the business going and get clients and be able to draw/manage the animation project all in a seven-day period. Sounds easy enough.

Next subject.

So, I was looking at Craigslist and there was this guy looking for a comic book artist. My foot was injured and so I decided I’d do something fun and new. God, I told him I’d have it done by Thursday. I spent a bit of yesterday working on it until I figured out what I wanted exactly and the overall design and then I spent all day working on it today. I love doing it at the same time I wish I didn’t email him. I hope he likes it at the same time I hope he doesn’t like it; just so I don’t have to do 200 pages of his graphic novel and dread over every page and how sucky I am at drawing things repetitively. Though if he does pick me, I would be happy to do it, I think. It’s a love/hate relationship with my art and drawing people skills. Tomorrow I will be finished with just the example page of five comic panels (he asked for five, but I’m making six cause it’ll be nicer looking that way) and then continue working on the web site and content writing of it. Speaking of my website, it is also a love/hate relationship.

Godd..I hate this, and I hate working all day and not being able to close my eyes and stop thinking. I am tired and all I want to do is sleep and I can’t stop thinking…Stoppp thinking.

Next Subject.

I have KMFDM – Stray Bullet. Playing on repeat. It’s played 50 times today and counting. I love this song.

———-

And I think I just brain dumped the major bits and pieces I had on my mind that was worth talking about and I’m going to try to sleep now.

Trust In The Broken Egg.

‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone,’ it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.’

‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master – that’s all.’

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. ‘They’ve a temper, some of them – particularly verbs: they’re the proudest – adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs – however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!’

‘Would you tell me, please,’ said Alice, ‘what that means?’

‘Now you talk like a reasonable child,’ said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. ‘I meant by “impenetrability” that we’ve had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest of your life.’

‘That’s a great deal to make one word mean,’ Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

‘When I make a word do a lot of work like that,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘I always pay it extra.’

‘Oh!’ said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other remark.

‘Ah, you should see ‘em come round me of a Saturday night,’ Humpty Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side, ‘for to get their wages, you know.’

(Alice didn’t venture to ask what he paid them with; so you see I can’t tell you.)

“You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir”, said Alice. “Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem ‘Jabberwocky’?”

“Let’s hear it”, said Humpty Dumpty. “I can explain all the poems that ever were invented–and a good many that haven’t been invented just yet.”

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse:

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“That’s enough to begin with”, Humpty Dumpty interrupted: “there are plenty of hard words there. ‘Brillig‘ means four o’clock in the afternoon–the time when you begin broiling things for dinner.”

“That’ll do very well”, said Alice: “and ‘slithy‘?”

“Well, ‘slithy‘ means ‘lithe and slimy’. ‘Lithe’ is the same as ‘active’. You see it’s like a portmanteau–there are two meanings packed up into one word.”

I see it now”, Alice remarked thoughfully: “and what are ‘toves‘?”

“Well, ‘toves‘ are something like badgers–they’re something like lizards–and they’re something like corkscrews.”

“They must be very curious creatures.”

“They are that”, said Humpty Dumpty: “also they make their nests under sun-dials–also they live on cheese.”

“And what’s to ‘gyre‘ and to ‘gimble‘?”

“To ‘gyre‘ is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To ‘gimble‘ is to make holes like a gimlet.”

“And ‘the wabe‘ is the grass plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?” said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity.

“Of course it is. It’s called ‘wabe‘, you know, because it goes a long way before it, and a long way behind it–”

“And a long way beyond it on each side”, Alice added.

“Exactly so. Well then, ‘mimsy‘ is ‘flimsy and miserable’ (there’s another portmanteau for you). And a ‘borogove‘ is a thin shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round–something like a live mop.”

“And then ‘mome raths‘?” said Alice. “If I’m not giving you too much trouble.”

“Well a ‘rath‘ is a sort of green pig, but ‘mome‘ I’m not certain about. I think it’s sort for ‘from home’–meaning that they’d lost their way, you know.”

“And what does ‘outgrabe‘ mean?”

“Well, ‘outgribing‘ is something between bellowing an whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle: however, you’ll hear it done, maybe–down in the wood yonder–and when you’ve once heard it, you’ll be quite content. Who’s been repeating all that hard stuff to you?”

“I read it in a book”, said Alice.

——————————————————————————-

Bandersnatch – A swift moving creature with snapping jaws, capable of extending its neck.

Beamish – Radiantly beaming, happy, cheerful.

Borogove – A thin shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round, “something like a live mop. The initial syllable of borogove is pronounced as in borrow, rather than as in burrow.

Brillig – Four o’clock in the afternoon: the time when you begin broiling things for dinner.

Burbled – Possibly a mixture of “bleat”, “murmur”, and “warble”. Burble is also a pre-existing word, circa 1303, meaning to form bubbles as in boiling water.

Chortled – Combination of chuckle and snort.

Frabjous – Probably a blend of fair, fabulous, and joyous.

Frumious – Combination of “fuming” and “furious”.

Galumphing – Perhaps a blend of “gallop” and “triumphant”. Used to describe a way of “trotting” down hill, while keeping one foot further back than the other. This enables the Galumpher to stop quickly.

Gimble – To make holes as does a gimlet.

Gyre – To go round and round like a gyroscope. However, Carroll also wrote in Mischmasch that it meant to scratch like a dog. The g is pronounced like the /g/ in gold, not like gem.

Jubjub – A desperate bird that lives in perpetual passion.

Manxome – Fearsome; the word is of unknown origin.

Mimsy – Combination of “miserable” and “flimsy”.

Mome – Possibly short for “from home,” meaning that the raths had lost their way.

Outgrabe (past tense; present tense outgribe) – Something between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle.

Rath – A sort of green pig.

Snicker-snack: Countable and uncountable.

Slithy – Combination of “slimy” and “lithe.” The i is long, as in writhe.

Tove – A combination of a badger, a lizard, and a corkscrew. They are very curious looking creatures which make their nests under sundials and eat only cheese.[4] Pronounced so as to rhyme with groves. Note that “gyre and gimble,” i.e. rotate and bore, is in reference to the toves being partly corkscrew by Humpty Dumpty’s definitions.

Tulgey – Thick, dense, dark.

Uffish – A state of mind when the voice is gruffish, the manner roughish, and the temper huffish.

Vorpal – It is commonly assumed to mean “deadly” or “sharp”. Carroll himself once wrote, “I am afraid I can’t explain ‘vorpal blade’ for you—nor yet ‘tulgey wood.’”

Wabe – The grass plot around a sundial. It is called a “wabe” because it goes a long way before it, and a long way behind it, and a long way beyond it on each side.

——————————————————————————-

“The rest of the nonsense words were never explicitly defined by Carroll, who claimed that he did not know what some of them meant.”

Writers Block

There was a book lying near Alice on the table, and while she sat watching the White King (for she was still a little anxious about him, and had the ink all ready to throw over him, in case he fainted again), she turned over the leaves, to find some part that she could read, ` — for it’s all in some language I don’t know,’ she said to herself.

It was like this.

YKCOWREBBAJ

sevot yhtils eht dna ,gillirb sawT`
ebaw eht ni elbmig dna eryg diD
,sevogorob eht erew ysmim llA
.ebargtuo shtar emom eht dnA

She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a bright thought
struck her. `Why, it’s a Looking-glass book, of course!

And if I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go the right way again.”

This was the poem that Alice read.

JABBERWOCKY

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought–
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

`It seems very pretty,’ she said when she had finished it, `but it’s rather hard to understand!’ (You see she didn’t like to confess, ever to herself, that she couldn’t make it out at all.) `Somehow t seems to fill my head with ideas — only I don’t exactly know what they are!  However, somebody killed something: that’s clear, at any rate — ‘

This Is How Blade And I Roll.

Hey boys and girls,

My day today (many days ago) consisted of random travelers of the public laughing at me and my very American best friend (he may be referred to Blade or Newb). It all started with him needing the basics of water, cereal, condiments for hotdogs. Pretty simple stuff, I needed to get some Salsa and jelly packets (Blade tells me that, apparently, in -American- it’s called Jello…Wups? Jelly and jam = The Same – this confuses me). We went to Hipermas which is like the Spanish version of Walmart (they actually own it) and their logo is of a whale – I find this amusing.

When we were in the supermarket and I ask Blade if he needs a cart/small basket and he tells me, “Nooo.” as if he’s too good for that stuff. Turns out we’re walking around the supermarket holding everything in our hands and making most of the staff look at us because my bestfriend was ‘angry’ at me for dropping some stuff. I’d drop something and I would wait for HIM to come over and pick it up then he’d tell me I’m a useless whore and we’d repeat it all over again. This staff lady saw me drop something and said, “There’s a basket here for you guys to use, let me get it for you.” In Spanish but knowing my bestfriend is too unattractive to that idea I told her that we didn’t need it. She looked at me weird cause it was obvious we did.

When we managed to get on the bus to go back home Blade’s starts commenting that his bags are breaking – they are hipermas bags so it’s not like they’re the best quality. I didn’t buy much so I offered to take some of the condiments off of his hands. I was being a bit stupid because I’d grab something and go, “Oh..Oh..What do I have here? Mustard?” and pull out some Ketchup like I was pulling out a bunny in a magic hat, “Okay, how about some Relish now?” and I pulled out some mustard and then, “Andd anndddd Give Me Theeeeee Ketchup!” and pulled out the Relish. Blade was still screaming about his bag breaking, I told him, “Dude, this happened last time and you didn’t bother double bagging it? Don’t you learn? This is the 2nd time, dude.”

“Well, I was TRYING to, but the lady behind the counter was like giving me that angry face of Don’t TOUCH my bags and I was all chill out there lady face.”

“Dude, I’m just saying it happened before and as I recall you were freaking out over the bag breaking with the watermelon in it.”

“I’m sure she always does this, is what I’m saying, you know, she has that face of yeah, go on, go on with your breaking useless bags. This always happens dude, even though I just met her, I know it always happens cause she bags it.”

“*laughs*”

There was a moment of silence and we made some psychic sex connections and started rapping to 10,000 Cadlliacs – Kickin’ Up Dust at the very same time. We have mind reading trannies of doom (many will not understand that, but he’ll be reading and I know he’s laughing.. See..See I see you there..I’m sure you’re cleaning too, you little slut.). I’m not a fan of rap, but this song is special.

“10,000 caddlliacs swinging like a battleaxe

Skinny’s on the cuts (?) so fast you can’t straddle that.

Cops are corrupt and kids are kickin’ up dust,

Cops are corrupt and kids are kickin’ up dust,

Cops are corrupt and kids are kickin’ up dust

and it’s about to erupt the world is ready to bust.”

Okay so that part isn’t so amazing, but it’s what I’ve been listening to lately other than John The Revelator. Blade has gotten this song stuck in his head too so there are random moments where we sing it in the streets of San Jose. Friday night he was drunkish and we were dancing and singing it in front of some Metal dudes who we were walking with and they were confused. Apparently, Metal and Rap aren’t friends.

Anyway back on the bus,

Me: “Dude, do you want me to take your cereal?”

Blade: “No, it’s MY cereal.”

“Dude, you’re so useless, your bags are breaking, let me take your cereal.”

“No, my cereal, whore, it’s mine….”

“*Takes his cereal*

“….It’s fine as it is..”

“Dude, you’re so feeble that I have to take it.”

“…Grr. Fine. Fine.”

Suddenly he drops to the floor impersonating a midget and shouts out, “MY WATER BROKE!!” Everyone who was seated looked at his whiteness and there was even a couple behind us that was cracking up because we’re so amazingly awesome/retarded together.

He regains himself, “Okay, I’m going to baby carry this. Cradle style.”

Someone moves away from us cause we were being obnoxious and goes further in the back to sit in peace. I demand him to sit his sweet ass down and he sheepishly looks around and goes, “Kay…” I handed him all of my bags and he starts complaining about me holding nothing, I told him to stop being stupid and to take it like a man.

About 60% of the randomers on the bus were laughing at us, I’m not joking by the slightest bit and the other40% were, “Oh god, please, someone make them shut up.” but no one cares about them.

Bus drivers completely dislike Blade for some reason. The backdoor failed this time and the bus driver didn’t stop at our stop. Of course, this wasn’t the first incident, as last time when we were about to get off the bus, the driver started to close the doors on Blade and proceeded to drive away like everything was groovy. Blade had to jump out of the moving public transportation vehicle as the doors were closing on him, and he almost broke his face so dramatically that the bus driver stopped in the middle of the street to make sure he was okay. And then there’s me, laughing my face off and trying to convince the driver that everything was ‘pura vida man’ without sounding sarcastic. (This incident can’t be completely blamed on the bus driver, because there was a very large lady who was pushing the button 5-6 times when the paper on the bus clearly stated that it should only be pushed once. Obviously, this annoys the bus driver, who likely assumed in hindsight that it had been the two of us being immature children and pressing it repeatedly. Ugh.)

I Haz Bloo Hairz

Yeppers, I’m a blue head now, I’m like a smurf mixed with a blueberry skittle and then add some sea water teal to that and the longest parts of my fringe is white. Char-yar! Looks pretty cool. I haven’t taken a picture, but I’m still debating whether I want to put it on here. Maybe for those who I am friendly with would need to request it from me personally so that I can send it through their email account.

I honestly don’t want the stalkers to see me because if you’ve read pervious posts one can assume where in Costa Rica I am and where I work and what time I leave for work and..I’m paranoid. I know. Though, like there are so many blue haired chicks in Costa Rica that my paranoia kind of becomes obsolete.

*Runs off to ponder*.

Addicted!!

Really going crazy over this awesome song right now.

Oiga! Macha!

I’m a total blonde right now. I’m not one of those chicks who pretends to be a ‘true’ blonde with my hair trying to look like a naturals. I’m a bleach peroxide blonde, it’s amazing, I’m like Goldie Locks with a, “Oh yea, this color? I put eight eggs on it this morning and what’s your problem?” added to it.

Yesterday, the professional mixed 40 level peroxide with bleaching powder which is the strongest around here (you can get 50 lvl but I think that’s only for the states and only people with licenses can get their hands on it).

She left the bleach in for an hour and a half, I was like, Is..it…suppose to be in here for so long? My hair is SO going to fall out or I’m going to have a bleeding scalp by the end of this. You’re suppose to put 20-30 level peroxide with the bleaching powder if you’re going to bleach the roots, but she didn’t do that – it was 40 all the way. I felt very much like, “…Dearrrrr god, it’s going to ruined.”

The girls at the salon were very impressed at how ‘greso’ (thick?) my dark brown hair and how super healthy it was. Glad they fixed that, eh? She washed my hair for the first bleach job and was like, “None of your hair fell out!” with a very shocked and surprised tone. Normally, if one’s hair turns white through bleach you’re hair is in the worst possible state and should be breaking off – my roots are white and they’re not breaking off. Amazing? Che-yeah.

10 levels of Rape.

In total there were three bleach jobs that were done. I went in at 10:20am and left at 1:15pm. My fringe, where I had it bleached previously, was the only part that was seriously affected and bits of it was breaking off. It’s a platinum white right now and it’s not falling out right at this moment so I’m cool.  Overall everything is pretty strong.

-Most- people are digging it at work, and I’m like, NO, it’s awful. This guy told me, “you should stick with blonde, that’s your color, and all I have to do is wait ’till your 18 so I can say the stuff I want to.” I was like, “>.<. Just get back to work”. A lot of my co-workers did not recognize me at all, I went up to a co-worker to kiss/greet her hello and she gave me this look of, “Why is some random chick touching me?”. One of my friends  said, “When you were walking up to us, I said to myself, hey that chick looks like Fluff but blonde………Oh SHIT! O.O’….”

When I left the salon random men would call me macha…I was like, dude, I’m no macha, go away and burn. Macha = White chick in Costa Rican slang. I was in a car with my friend and one of his friends (who I met like 15 minutes ago at that moment) mentions about the pope going around Africa telling them that condoms are bad geebees to use. I gave him the stats about condoms and STDS because, -I- out of all people would know them, and he was like, “This chick ain’t no dummy, boys!” I believe the blondeness might have made him think I was living in the ghetto, but I showed him, ha! Even today at work one of my co-workers told me, “I’m going to call you bimbo from now on.” Death with beadie eyes, -.-.

I was walking through San Jose using my usual route to get to work today and the lady who tries to sell lottery tickets by screaming out their brand names stopped screaming half way. The regular vendors around that area recognize me even though I don’t talk to anybody – it’s hard to miss the chick with big stompie boots and weird multicolor hair, but when I was passing them they acted very, “O.o ZUMG. Does..wah..wurh..Blurh?!” Prettttty funny.

Monday I go blue headed with white on my fringe. I’ll show pictures, I guess, with the process of me going ‘normal’ head, to blondie, to blue….Maybe >.>.

A note: From what I read bleach and peroxide take years off of your life and can cause breast cancer. Those could just be claims, but it honestly might be true cause I can feel my brain not liking the chems too much – wonder if this is a less painful version of what chemo feels like? Anyway, to make up for the years missing, I’m drinking Green Tea on a daily basis cause that stuff makes you the zen teddy bear of the world and they have this miggie piggie thingie that I can’t remember the name of in the tea that is super healthy and it relaxes all your muscles.

Ma brain has absorbed the breast cancer causing chemices and have damaged over a hundred of ma brain cells. Mmm tasty….

Signing off,

- I ma brain deed.

I Chopped It OFF!!

My Finger! Seriously, there’s blood everywhere.

No, but really, let’s talk about hair, my hair to be exact. I’ve had the same style for about I dunno, 3-4 years now? Yeah, boring.

Two years ago I drew this little comic/sketch thingie for Username: Pirateferret – We used to talk on IMVU bundles of times..She’s into Ferrets and Pirates. Finally I saw her on deviantART and was like, “ZUMG, that chick you drew has my hair!” “Zumg, really? I’ve wanted that style for awhile but I shaved my head so that fixed that”.

I drew this under 30 minutes, please make note I can draw better!

Anyway, without putting up pictures, that’s how my hair looked like, normal bob cut up to my shoulders/neck with a long streak of hair on my left side. I know in the picture it’s on the right side, but ignore that, I didn’t know what left or right was back then.  Oh and part of my fringe was up to my eyes and the middle part (I guess) was beyond my chin. I had dyed that long fringe part blue and the longest part of my hair was dyed the brightest red you can think of…It was UV reactive too. It was amazing. That was the ‘recent’ year thing I did with the colors. I love colors :].

It was all groovy until I picked up the scissors and killed the already overly processed peroxide hair. It was an orange tinge cause I haven’t dyed it in 5-6 months and my fringe had a greenish tint to it. I deiced to cut it myself after a professional completely ‘ruined’ my hair, from that point on I said to myself, “No! No one is going to put sharp objects in my face expect for me. So if I loose an eye it’ll be my fault and I wouldn’t have to pay anybody for their very unpro..ness.”

My sister and mother were eating at the table and I was practically talking to myself in the bathroom going, “I’ve RUINED it! I look so weird!”

Sister: “Relax, you look normal.”

“That’s the PROBLEM!” *Walks over to them* “A part of me is in the TRASH, don’t you understand? I’m GARBAGE!”

Sister: >.>…*Keeps on eating*

Mother: Take your hair and sprinkle it across the lawn.

“….*blinks* What? Why?”

Mother: The birds love hair. It’s good. You recycle.

“My hair has been bleached, it’s a suspected source for breast cancer/taking years off of your life…You really think it’ll be good for Them?”

Mother: So? Just do it. It’ll be good for them.

“Why on earth would I want to do that? I mean, the birds, they could like, fly and I dunno, carry it with them and give it to some voodoo guy who has trained birds to go collect hair and he could put it in some upside down pentagram and do some weird ritual and sacrifice chickens and I could be suffering and and..and the stomach ulcers!”

Sister: Are you serious?…Dude, they’re just birds.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT! Are you the voodoo guy who trains birds to steal hair?”

Sister: *Shakes her head with those rollie eyes and keeps on eating*

Mother: When the garbage guys collect it, they are more likely to do voodoo on your hair..

“…Uh!….*Silence*…I hate you -.-’….Like they’d look through the trash..*is in denial*”

Mother: Sure why not? Never know what’s valuable.

“Why would I want to give my hair to birds anyway??”

Mother:  So they can make a nest.

“….”

Sister: Did you know the male birds are the ones who make the nests for the females and are more colorful.

“That will be one colorful nest. You ever pity the male birds? They’re all like, we’ll do anything to get laid even if you’re ugly and have one eye working. Whatever you want!”

Sister: Which ever is the better looking one (nest) the females will pick it.

“Yea, I know, totally sucks for the male cause they will still be with ugly chicks.”

So, tomorrow morning I’m going to prance around the yard throwing my once proud hair around the lawn for male birds to make nests….And I’m the one who uses the chemicals…

Anyyywhoo, I chopped it all off and made it level except for my fringe, they’re an inch longer than the rest of the hair, I plan on dying this part white. Tomorrow aka Friday, I’m going to go to a pro to get it bleached because they’re doing discounts and well, honestly, bleaching my whole head by myself could really make me go bald which is not the desired look I’m going for. Then on Monday I’ll dye it like three different shades of blue. Should be rad.

Though! I was thinking about going with a mohawk, but if I want a mohawk I want one that’s so freaking huge it makes me look like a midget (not practical when using public transport) or have half of my head shaved and the other half green, but for now I’m still enjoying the whole having hair thing so maybe next time I change styles I’ll do the 2nd option.

My Fun Experiences.

I don’t think I’m very good at writing stories and making them very interesting. Though, I was catching up with a friend and it reminded me of this story. At the time (and after), I was pretty amused even though the whole situation was for about 10 minutes or so.

So it’s Friday night and I’m riding in the Alajuela bus to go back to San Jose, it’s about a 30-45 minute bus ride. The airport is located in Alajuela for those who do not know and Alajuela also got hit by that 6.1 earthquake the strongest. People were mentioning that the Poas volcano had high risks it was going to erupt because of it.

Alajuela buses have been known to be robbed because, from what I believe, the majority of the bus ride is on the highway – you’re not hitting potholes, turning around curves, it’s hard for police to monitor the whole highway, people are coming back from the airport, the bus fare tends to be higher than other buses, and it’s just a very remote area to drive through. They can basically tell the bus driver to pull over on the side of the road for them to escape into woods, or ghetto neighborhoods/houses. It’s just overall convenient in the eyes of a criminal, especially at night when there’s low cop activity.

Anyway, since this knowledge is known, I tend to sit upfront where the driver is. When people rob, they tend to be at the way way back where the driver can’t see. Though, I dont’ believe the driver would be able to do anything if they choose to rob front or back and if you get a bunch of guys who rob the whole bus (it happens), you’re pretty much fucked anyway.

Let me explain the exterior/interior of the bus a bit. This is Costa Rica, it is a third world country, we get every other countries buses (mostly USA) who don’t want their outdated buses. Some of our public buses are the color of school buses from the states (they vary in height). Every bus is different to some degree (styling, interior sofas, where the buttons go), if you’re going to a different town or region in Costa Rica, it’ll probably be a different color and model.

Blue bird bus

Different Colors

Alajuela Red Buses (There are also Beige buses in a different terminal.)

The interior of the bus is just as fun. Some buses have the string to pull on, some buses have the button to push on every pole (or every other pole), or even both buttons and strings, some have buttons only on the ceiling, or at the side of your seat, and sometimes the string breaks or the buttons don’t even work so you gotta go, “Parada porfavor!” (Bus stop please!) to the bus driver. Costa Rica hasn’t quite gotten the concept of machines to do your bidding, like in Singapore you put your card through the machine when you get into the bus and you card it again when you leave, they still have the primitive system of you give coins to the bus driver and the bus driver sometimes, or purposely, forgets certain coins when giving back your change. They have a coin box, which is made out of foam so it adapts (aka jiggles) to the bus movements, to place all these coins in. They have holes to sort the different values of coins and also have slots in the middle to give out change that they’ve already counted.  The Alajuela buses have all these buttons (like four rows of buttons) in the very middle of the bus, these are used for turn signals, lights, radio, I dunno there’s probably an eject button some where too.

I went off a bit, I didn’t mean to write and describe so much about the look of buses. Point is, I was sitting in front seat and started smelling pancakes.

*Hmm, that smells good,* I thought. *I don’t think we past Dennys yet -they normally cook pancakes at odd hours-..but even then they don’t really smell This Good. Zumg I’m hungry…*

There was a man sitting next to me and two other men were on the right side. They were very friendly with the bus driver like they’ve known him for years, very chatty fellows who all seemed to know each other even when they got on the bus at  different times.

“Is it suppose to be doing that?” One of the men said in Spanish.

The bus driver was stopping at a bus stop at that point and said in Spanish, “This bloody bus keeps doing that, I looked every where man, everywhere, bloody thing does this randomly.”

Smokes starts coming up from the dashboard, where the rows of buttons were.

“Wires touching maybe?” Guy number 2 mentioned leaning over and out of his seat.

The driver lifts all the buttons up (apparently he didn’t even have the metal barrier/grate screwed down anymore because it happened so randomly.)  and the smell now turned into a faint burning plastic smell, flames included.

*Hmm..That’s..Really…Not suppose to happen..* I say to myself.

The radio was playing salsa music, very common among the crowd, started dying slowly to warped cha-cha music. The driver moved it out of the way and turned it off, his hand was stuttering in fear of getting burned.

“I thought it was wires touching, man, but man, I looked at it from up and down and nothing, nothing man.” Bus Driver said.

“Are you sure?” Guy number 3 said, getting kinda nervous.

“I even took it to the fucking mechanic at the airport and he couldn’t find anything.” As his hand was trying to find the fire extinguisher while  his eyes still on the burning wires.

Guy number 2 was seeing how the bus driver wasn’t looking where it was exactly so he got out of his seat to take it. This took a little while because they were ‘calmly’ talking at the same time doing this. Guy number 2 was trying to take that metal pin out while he was saying, “It started smoking when you turned on the lights. The lights probably triggered it”

*Wow, they have a fire extinguisher.…Wait, does…That fire extinguisher even work? Knowing how it works here, it’s probably expired.*

By this time the back of the bus and it’s containing passengers especially some females were getting really scared. Almost everyone was standing up and looking over their seats like busy-body neighbors. Some drunk men who came on wielding beer cans were like,

“Let us out through the back, let us out!!”

*Hmm, if it exploded I wonder how they’d find me. I have no ID on me. The ATM cards would probably be burned….*

“Hijueputa, Mae!! Vamos a morir” (Son of a bitch, man! We’re going to die).

“Open up! Shittt, open up.”

*…Wonder if dental records would even work in this country, I’m pretty sure they do, it can’t be that bad….*

I don’t know if the bus driver did open the back door, and if he did, I honestly don’t know how since all the wires were burning.

So as guy number 2 is about to blow the thing out, some guy from outside the bus stop takes a two liter coke bottle filled with water and pours it on the electrical.

The three guys in the front seat started screaming, “NOOO!!!” (expect me cause I was more like, wtf? did he just dump water?) And even then that didn’t completely take out the fire. So the, thankfully, full and loaded extinguisher worked and managed to take the fire out.

*What would my corpse look like? Probably have bits of glass implanted in my face and maybe have this dude’s lard (guy sitting next to me) all exploded on top of me.* I think about this further as I watch the fire go out completely

The bus driver was kinda pissed and was trying to get everything tidy when people were on the bus going, “Okay man, it’s out, let’s go, let’s get this thing moving, c’mon.” Like total jerks. We were 15-20 away from San Jose and some people briefly shouted, “Where did the music go man?!” “Play some music!!” “That music was everything, man”. The guy on the front made a joke and said, “Well, now you can just go steal another car radio…maybe that would  keep you better company.”

That was my first experience to say the least with a bus catching on fire. I think I remained calm and kind of laughing at the surreality of it all. It was one of those, I’m watching four men try to handle it in that, ‘kind of…not really way’ while the rest of the lot is freaking out and I’m calmly in my seat with legs crossed and hands laced thinking, *How likely would this thing blow up anyway?..Probably wouldn’t…Would be interesting that I’d be a statistic number in ‘people who get blown up in car related incidents’* and basically that’s how I was with a little more denial.

Signing out,

-Very much alive and not roasting Me.

Herpes Simplex Virus 1 And 2.

The point of this post is to simplify things. There are a bunch of sites you could look at online and they will give you ranges of dates which differ from the next site you look at. One site says something and another mentions something half true and the other half is still debated. Well, this is mainly to get it all straight and tidy so you only need to look at one page instead of 50 others to get the overall of what you want. I try to cover all points, I don’t think I left out any but if I did please mention it in comments and I’ll be on my way to fix/edit it.

What Is The Herpes Simplex Virus?

“The HSV-1 virus is the cause of cold sores or fever blisters. The HSV-2 virus is the major cause of genital herpes” [1]

“The two viruses look identical by the electron microscope. However, the proteins or spikes on the outside of the two viruses differ. As such, the body recognizes the two viruses differently, hence it makes antibodies to HSV-1 and these differ from antibodies to HSV-2. This distinction is central in allowing one to develop a “blood test” or serologic assay in medical jargon for the two viruses.” [1].

How Does The Herpes Simplex Virus Work?

The virus’s replication process destroys cells it has invaded causing blisters that form on the skin. The virus is transported back through the nerve to important nerve branching points called ganglia located outside the central nervous system (e.g the spine). The virus stays in the ganglia in an inactive, or latent, form. During this time, the virus does not replicate. It stays hidden for varying amounts of time, though certain triggers may cause the virus to travel back down the nerve to the skin and cause symptoms again. [2]

Means Of Spread:

“Direct skin-to-skin contact can spread herpes. This includes touching, kissing, and sexual contact (vaginal, anal, and oral). Moist areas of the mouth, throat, anus, vulva, vagina, and the eyes are very easily infected. Skin can be infected if it is cut, chafed, burned, or has a rash or other sores. Herpes can be passed from one partner to another, or from one part of your own body to another part. If one partner has oral cold sores, he/she can pass on the virus during oral sex and cause genital herpes. Herpes is most easily spread when there are open sores. It can also be spread before the blisters actually form. It is least easily spread when the sores have healed, the scabs have fallen off, and the skin is normal again. It is very unlikely that herpes is spread by toilet seats, swimming pools, bathtubs, whirlpools, or moist towels. An infected mother can pass the virus to her baby during or after childbirth.” [8]

The Symptoms:

Symptoms normally appear between 2-20 days after contact.  Sores can take up to two to four weeks to heal at the first outbreak. Because most people have not been exposed to the virus yet, and the immune system hasn’t built up a resistance, the first outbreak tends to be more severe. The infected area is usually painful and may itch, burn or tingle, 1-2 days before (also known as the prodromal period)/during an outbreak.  The HSV-2 sometimes shows no symptoms, “More than 60% of new HSV-2 infections and about a third of new HSV-1 infections do not produce symptoms.” [3] [4][5]

HSV-1 Symptoms:

• Blisters form on the lips but may also erupt on the tongue
• The blisters eventually rupture as painful open sores, develop a yellowish membrane before healing, and disappear within 3 – 14 days
• Increased salivation and foul breath may be present
• Rarely, the infection may be accompanied by difficulty in swallowing, chills, muscle pain, or hearing loss. [4]

HSV-2 Symptoms:

• Swollen lymph glands
• Painful inflamed blisters develop around infected area
• Headache
• Muscle ache
• Fever
• Vaginal or penis discharge
• Infection of the urethra causing a burning sensation during urination
• A burning sensation in the genitals
• Lower back pain
• Small red bumps may appear in the genital area following earlier symptoms,  later developing  into painful blisters, which crust over, form a scab, and heal. [3]

The Three Stages:

Primary:  “Usually, the infection causes groups of small, painful blisters. The fluid in the blisters may be clear or cloudy. The area under the blisters will be red. The blisters break open so easily that they quickly become open sores. You may not ever notice the blisters.” [6]

Latent (Or Sleeping) Stage: “During this stage, there are no blisters, sores or other symptoms. At this time, the virus is traveling from your skin into the nerves near your spine.” [6]

Shedding: “The virus starts multiplying in the nerves. It can then get into body fluids, such as saliva, semen or vaginal fluids. This is called shedding. There are no symptoms during this stage, but the virus can be spread during this time.” [6]

“One study reported that about 40% of all HSV-infected people experienced asymptomatic shedding of the virus more than 5% of the time. (Other evidence suggests shedding occurs much more often — between 9 – 28% of the time.) About half of asymptomatic shedding episodes occur within a few days before or after an outbreak and last about 1.5 days. Asymptomatic shedding is much more common with HSV-2 than with HSV-1.” [12]

Recurrences:

“The typical frequency of a herpes outbreak is four times a year or once every three months.” [7]

“It is true that most people with herpes have a recurrence but there are many people who don’t. If the symptoms do return, for most people they tend to be less and less severe as time goes on and as your immune system builds up antibodies.” Recurrences may last  2-12 days for the HSV -1 and HSV-2 will typically last from 3 to 14 days. [7]

“It is not completely known what triggers renewed infection, but a number of different factors may be involved…” [5]

Recurrences Might Be Triggered By The Following:

Physical Factors:

• Being run-down
• Suffering from other genital infections (affecting the local skin area)
• Menstruation Cycle
• Pregnancy
• Drinking a lot of alcohol
• Exposure of the area to strong sunlight
• Conditions that compromise a person’s immune system
• Prolonged periods of stress
• Fatigue
• Ultraviolet light
• Friction or damage to the skin, caused by, for example, sexual intercourse, may also lead to a recurrence
• Skin irritation (such as sunburn)
• Surgical trauma
• Diet and certain foods
• Another illness (especially with fever)
• Temperature extremes
• Steroid medication (e.g., asthma medication)
• Anything that lowers your immune system or causes local injury can trigger recurrences. [7]

Psychological Factors:

• Emotional upset or stress
• Periods of prolonged stress can cause more frequent recurrences
• It is also common to experience stress and anxiety as a result of having recurrences. [7]

Disclaimer: “One study linked recurrence in genital herpes to persistent stress (lasting longer than a week) and high levels of anxiety. Temporary mood changes, short-term stress, and life change events were not linked to recurrence.” [5]

Is There A Cure? Any Long Term Effects?

There isn’t a complete cure, but there are treatments that suppress the outbreaks and shedding. As there is too much detail to go into on this subject you can read more about it here. There are no long term effects, simply a bug that likes to play hide and seek for the rest of your life.

Prevention:

“Some people think they can only transmit herpes to their partner if they have an outbreak, or in the prodromal period immediately before and then again right after an outbreak. They’re wrong.” [9]

“Although herpes can be transmitted at any time, people with herpes are not equally infectious at all times. In general, a person is most infectious during an outbreak, in the period immediately before and after an outbreak, and in the first year after he is infected, but he still can transmit the virus at other times.” [9]

“Condoms aren’t 100% effective at preventing the spread of herpes, since it is transmitted from skin to skin. So remind him, or her, that 70% of new herpes infections are acquired from people who have no symptoms at the time of transmission and that suppressive therapy has been shown to reduce the likelihood of transmission by half or more.” [9]

To be honest, the best way to prevent this is to get everyone involved tested at a clinic for herpes and whatever STD while you’re at it before you start getting physical so you at least know where you stand.

Can Babies Get Herpes During Pregnancy?

I find that there’s a lot of confusion on this part, but it boils down to…

“If no virus is found in the birth canal and there are no symptoms or signs of an outbreak, a vaginal delivery is considered safe. If herpes is present in the birth canal near the time of delivery, a cesarean section might be necessary to protect the newborn from coming into direct contact with the virus.” [10]

Herpes Stats:

• One out of five of the total adolescent and adult population is infected with genital herpes.
• Infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of five).
• Male-to-female transmission is more efficient than female-to-male transmission.
• One in five Americans have genital herpes (yet at least 80 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it).
• About 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (cold sores).
• An estimated 25 percent of American adults have genital herpes.
• Genital herpes affects approximately one in six Australian adults
• Approximately two-thirds of people who acquire STDs in the United States are younger than 25.
• About one in five people in the United States over age 12 (approximately 45 million individuals) are infected with HSV-2, the virus that causes genital herpes.
• According to the A.H.M.F. (Australian Herpes Management Forum) genital herpes is under-diagnosed — of people with genital herpes simplex virus infection only 1 in 5 are diagnosed and, up to 80% of cases of genital herpes are not recognized as such by clinicians.
• At least one in four Americans will contract an STD at some point in their lives.
• Up to 1 million new HSV-2 infections may be transmitted each year in the United States.
• Costs associated with genital herpes totaled approximately $237 million in 1994.
• Genital herpes infection also is more common among African Americans (45.9%) than among White Caucasian (17.6%).
• Since the late 1970s, the number of Americans with genital herpes infection has increased 30%.
• The largest increase of genital herpes is among young White teenagers.
• Genital herpes infection is now five times more common in 12- to 19-year-old White adolescents.
• Genital herpes is twice as common among young adults ages 20 to 29 than it was 20 years ago. [11]

The Run Down:

So we have a virus that pops out whenever it’s triggered by vast amounts of stress but can not survive more than three minutes on a toilet seat? 80% of the people who have it are not aware of it or confuse it for things like a rash, razor burn, or insect bites. Male condoms are not %100 effective (then again nothing is) because sores could be hiding else where. You have to be extremely careful when ever an outbreak occurs so you don’t spread it to another person and even then you can’t guarantee not spreading it. Basically, you get a fun little gremlin that’ll haunt you for the rest of you life because it likes to hide in the most sensitive part of your body, the one you least want to touch with a laser, but the good news is that there are no long term damages?

Sources:

1. http://www.herpesdiagnosis.com/herpes.html
2. http://dermatology.about.com/cs/herpessimplex/a/hsvworks.htm
3. http://www.globalherbalsupplies.com/herpes/symptoms.htm
4. http://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/genital-herpes/symptoms.html
5. http://adam.about.com/reports/000052_1.htm
6. http://dermatology.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=dermatology&zu=http%3A%2F%2Ffamilydoctor.org%2Fhealthfacts%2F091%2F
7. http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_recurrences.htm#herpes_statistics
8. http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/herpes.html
9. http://std.about.com/od/herpes/f/hsvtransdrug.htm
10. http://www.herpes.com/Transmission.shtml
11. http://www.globalherbalsupplies.com/herpes/stats.html
12. http://www.healthcentral.com/genital-herpes/introduction-000052_2-145_2.html

How helpful was this to you? Did I leave anything out? Comment about it!